Eye of the Storm
by Ukyou Kuonji
Summary: Everyone get out of the way... it's Hurricane Akane...


I suspect that this idea isn't a new one, but it's another dream that I had, so I gotta get it written out before I forget, even if it isn't all that good or original. Bear with me... you might enjoy it anyway.  
  
Eye of the Storm  
a Ranma1/2 fanfiction  
by Ukyou Kuonji  
  
P-chan sleepily opened his eyes on this Sunday morning. Akane was already up, apparently. He could hear her rifling furiously though her dresser. And she was mad, too... he could feel the chill of her blue aura even from her bed.  
  
Suddenly she stopped her rummaging. He could see her holding aloft a cassette tape. She took a couple of deep breaths, as she continued to build up her aura. Finally, she stalked out of her room with a snarl of "Ran-MA!"  
  
She nearly brushed by P-chan on her way out. The sight of her long, bare legs caused him to bring a hoof to his snout, just in case. As she slammed her bedroom door, he made a mental note to pound Ranma for whatever he might have done to make Akane so upset this time.  
  
***  
  
If there was one thing worse than waking up in a strange house, Michiko thought as Akane's snarl jarred her to consciousness, it was the realization that it *still* wasn't a boyfriend's room, and that she'd spent the night before... studying. Blinking owlishly, Michiko noted with no small wonder that Nabiki was already up and working on her computer.  
  
"Hmph. Never thought of *you* as a morning person, Nabiki-chan," she mumbled.  
  
Nabiki shoved her chair away from the desk, and swiveled to face her friend. She was still wearing her pyjamas and a robe, and her face looked about as sleepy as Michiko felt. "How was that again?"  
  
In spite of her lethargy, Michiko grinned. "Never mind."  
  
"Hey, look.. I don't like getting up like this any more than anybody else. But I'm telling you, it's either work now -- while there's peace -- or try to think with Ranma and Akane constantly fighting downstairs. It can't be done; those two are so loud, you couldn't concentrate if you tried."  
  
Just at that moment, they heard the thumping noise of Akane's footsteps as she headed for Ranma's room. Michiko stood up and opened the bedroom door to peer out after the younger girl's retreating form. She turned back inside to address Nabiki: "Hey, well... if there's gonna be a fight, shouldn't you be taking bets?"  
  
"On a Ranma-Akane duel? Get real."  
  
***  
  
The door to Happosai's room was open; he was awake, snuggling against his haul from the previous night. He looked up to see Akane storming by... and wearing a *very* short skirt, too, in his opinion.  
  
"Now that's daring of her... and here I thought I'd stolen all her panties already. Amazing, that she's got the nerve to wear something like that little thing after that. I've got to go have a look-see..." and he bounded out of his room after her.  
  
"Akane-chan! Aren't you the loveliest little -- urk!" He never got to finish, because Akane spun around to face him, and smashed him in the mouth. For the coup de grace, she booted him, soccer-style, back down the hallway.  
  
***  
  
Michiko watched as the old lech flew past Nabiki's room. "Wasn't that the guy who's always..?"  
  
"Copping feels and stealing underwear? Yup. He's daddy's sensei, believe it or not. So you'd better believe he's a damn good martial artist. You'll notice that that was Akane's handiwork. Now d'ya see why I don't take wagers on these fights? It's a sucker's bet."  
  
Michiko made a mental note of it... if she could find a sucker to bet on Ranma, maybe she could out-Nabiki Nabiki someday. "Yeah, well... Ranma can take the old guy, too, can't he?"  
  
"Sometimes..."  
  
***  
  
Akane's blue aura was starting to leave a trail of smoke behind her as she fumed past the kitchen. Kasumi smelled the strange aroma, and checked her miso soup to make sure nothing was wrong. Then she noticed the vapor trails Akane had left behind.  
  
"Oh, my." Akane must be awfully steamed up to emit this much aura. She pulled a cookbook down from the pantry. It would take something extra-special to bring her out of this mood; and while food wasn't necessarily guaranteed to do so, it was what Kasumi could do for her little sister. She began flipping through the book, looking for some of Akane's favorite recipes   
  
***  
  
Whether panda or human, Genma Saotome slept the kind of sleep that even the dead would envy. So it came as no surprise that when Akane shunted open the door to the guest room, while Ranma's eyes snapped open at the door's first movement, his father continued sawing logs.  
  
But he *would* be woken up. Akane would see to that. She lifted the panda's futon perpendicular to the floor and rolled him off. Then, with some effort, she hoisted him over her head and stalked back out of the guest room.  
  
Ordinarily, being carried on another person's shoulders is a great honor. Indeed, perhaps Genma had just been dreaming of being carried off in triumph from a martial-arts victory. But the chill of Akane's aura was more than enough to assure him that this was no honor she was about to give him. He produced a sign in protest: [Hey...]  
  
He turned it around: [Hey!]  
  
And a third spin, this time waving it frantically as Akane approached the koi pond: [HEY!!]  
  
SPLASH!! Without a word, Akane spun on her heel after depositing Genma-panda in the pond and headed back toward the guest room... and Ranma.  
  
Despite the fact that no one was paying attention to him, Genma-panda held up another sign. [Ye gods, what's the matter with her today?]  
  
***  
  
She closed the door to the guest room behind her with a slam. In fact, the door nearly fell out of its track from the force. This was the first thing to throw her off stride all morning, as she turned around to check that the door was closed securely. But while her body had been momentarily thrown off, her mouth made up for the hesitation.  
  
"Ranma... *what* is the meaning of this?!" It was a growl loud enough to be heard throughout the house.  
  
"Whaddya talkin' about, Akane? *You're* the one who comes barging in --" Ranma cut himself off when he saw her brandish the cassette. He knew what it meant...  
  
"I've had the dojo bugged for several weeks now. It makes for... interesting listening..."  
  
Ranma's eyes went wide. Oh, boy...  
  
***  
  
In the room that had belonged to both him and his wife, Soun Tendo was knelt before her shrine. He wept as he could hear the sounds of mayhem and destruction coming from the guest room.  
  
"Kimiko, my darling... what can I do? I've tried so hard to raise them well, but Akane! She and Ranma won't ever stop fighting! I'm at my wit's end!" Rivers of tears flowed from his eyes as he poured out his anguish to his long departed wife. Her picture merely smiled enigmatically down upon him, as if she might know something that he wasn't aware of.  
  
***  
  
"So you're saying... Ranma won't even defend himself?"  
  
"Nope. Something to do with not hitting girls, he says."  
  
"No kidding? Wow." The sounds of mayhem continued, and Michiko marvelled at the amount of punishment Ranma must be taking. At the same time, she couldn't resist needling her friend. "So *that's* how come you get away with doin' all that stuff to him, and you don't need to fear for your life." She smirked as Nabiki glared at her in mock anger.  
  
All at one, they heard Akane's full-throated cry: "RAN-MAAAA!!" followed by a particularly long, loud and resounding crash. Then, all was still.  
  
The tone of Akane's voice perplexed Michiko. "Uh... Nabiki... you *sure* she's all right? That was a strange sound, for a battle cry."  
  
Nabiki looked half-disgusted with her friend. "Look, if you wanna bet on Ranma after hearing all that, go ahead. I guess I'll be happy to take your money. But seriously... it'd be a waste. Akane always, always comes out on top."  
  
***  
  
Exhausted, Akane placed her hands on the futon on either side of Ranma's head. She remained there, still straddling him, as she caught her breath.  
  
Ranma grinned. "That was some workout, eh, Akane?"  
  
Akane nodded. Then her countenance darkened slightly. "Could you try to look a little more dazed, Ranma? That recording's supposed to sound like we're fighting, and you *know* you're supposed to lose to me..."  
  
"Believe me, I'm as dazed as I come."  
  
"Pun intended, hm?"  
  
Ranma merely smiled, and lifted his hands to her face. He brought it down to meet his, and kissed her deeply. "I love you... you kawaikune tomboy."  
  
Akane smirked. "And I love you, too, you bakayaro hentai." As she spoke, she lifted herself off of him ever so slightly, only to drop back down onto him with the word 'hentai,' as if for emphasis. Ranma winced as she thrust herself back onto his spent member. "There. That oughta make you look a little more beaten up, ne?"  
  
*****  
*****  
  
*sigh* Well, that's done... why is it, every time I have a dream about Ran-chan making love to someone, he's with Akane-chan, and not me?  
  
This isn't a follow-up to Subterraneo, I should point out -- in fact, I took great pains to make sure it wasn't a lemon (to mark it as such would destroy the surprise, now, wouldn't it?) It's more like another elaboration of the "Baka" and "Tomboy" roles from Bob Barnes' "The Masks We Must Wear" (can ya tell I really liked that story? Naahhh...) How about it, though, Bob? I figured out a way for them to sneak around behind everyone else's back. After all, who's gonna deliberately walk in on them when they're (supposedly) fighting like that, ne?  
  
Comments are, as always, invited, nay, begged for. As always, the address is:  
  
ukyoukwnji@aol.com  
  
Until next time, ja!  
  
Itsu mo,  
Ucchan ^_^  



End file.
